Suggested reading

1. Family Belief Systems, Therapy and Change
   Rudi Dallos

Rudi Dallos discusses the understandings, beliefs and explanations that people use in order to manage their relationships in their families. Dallos considers how families construct shared systems of beliefs which serve to guide their perceived options.

2. Bradshaw on: The Family
   John Bradshaw

Classic book on family relationships.

3. Personal Construct Counselling in Action
   Fay Fransella and Peggy Dalton

First developed by George Kelly, Personal Construct Theory offers a ‘model’ of human beings as continuously seeking to make sense of their worlds through interpretation, anticipation and experimentation. It is when people's understandings and anticipations appear to fail them that they may become ‘stuck’ and look for help.

4. Understanding Your Grief
   Dr. Alan Wolfelt

This is actually about when someone you love dies but the underpinning theory of how to work with loss is applicable to parents who have a child with special needs. This is a compassionate guide, written by one of North America 's leading grief educators and it helps you to understand the normal and necessary journey we call grief.

5. The Dance of Intimacy
   Dr. Harriet Lerner

The author outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be changed. She takes a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged ­ by distance, intensity, or pain ­ she teaches about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others.

I've found that many of the mother's accept the diagnosis of their child's difficulty but the father's struggle and often distance themselves from acknowledging what is happening. This book offers a way of understanding why some people distance themselves from painful events/news and how to maintain connectedness while the news is assimilated.